Emily Filloramo

Self-imposed obstacles are rooted in old, significant, emotional events. These ingrained parts can silently keep you holding onto fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs. You may not even be aware of the parts of you that don’t feel “good enough.”

Emily Filloramo, author of How To Permanently Erase Negative Self-Talk, shares with us how to remove these obstacles for good. When we do, we will achieve more than we ever thought possible, and also become better leaders, parents, lovers and friends.

Tune in to hear how her old “mess” has now become her message. She believes the wounds of her life were the greatest gifts she’s been given. 

If you want to disconnect from the pain and realize your full potential, take action. Emily can show you how! 

1 – Reinventing Mark Zuckerberg

2 – No One Wants To Hire Me, I’m Too Old; Become  Your Extraordinary Self

3 – Modern Day Shaman; What Is Spiritual Healing?

4 – Mary Has A Date; Fear Of Rejection 

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Steve: You got it? We good. We’re good. Yeah! How you doing Mary Goulet?

Mary: Great.

Steve: You can’t be on the phone during a radio show. There’s like radio etiquette. You can’t take a call…

Mary: It was for you.

Steve: It was for me. I know. Thank you for that.

Mary: Totally for you.

Steve: Am I going to like it? A little bit?

Mary: No.

Steve: Yeah, alright, thanks. Hey, we got White Wade. What’s up Wade?

Wade: And White Wade used to tell a quick story…

[Laugh]

Mary: I love that.

Steve: He’s referring to himself as White Wade, I love that. Welcome to Reinvention Radio, White Wade, how are you?

Wade: Thank you. We one time had a guy as a guest on the interview that took another call during the interview, put us on hold so that he could take the other call that was coming in during his radio interview.

Mary: So, that’s the quality of the programming at WS Radio.

Steve: At WSRadio.com. Alright, welcome everybody. It’s going to be a rocking good time here on the show and we’re kicking it on Blab once again, so thanks for joining us live, and for those who are joining us live 866-977-2346, #1 is the number if you wanted to give us a call and join in on the conversation. And it should be pretty interesting with Emily Filloramo coming on the show as we Reinvent Spiritual Healing today. But one of the things that I’m looking forward to reinventing is… You got it now, Mary? You all good, Mary? Yeah.

Mary: I did.

Steve: That’s the thing. They can actually see our conversation. That’s the beauty of it. It’s like… What’s so funny is…

Mary: I’m on it!

Steve: What I’m doing now by the way which is so funny is like when I say things, now I’m just really saying things to see what your reaction is going to be. And I don’t even look at you anymore. It’s like…

Mary: You look down there?

Steve: …I start looking at the screen. You turned me down again, didn’t you.

Mary: Oh, my gosh!

Steve: You so turned my volume down. Is that better? Okay. That’s much better.
Mary: Kelly told me it was too hot before. Is it too hot, Kel?

Steve: I’m just hot. I’m just a hot guy, that’s all it is.

Mary: I did it, right?
Steve: Yep. It’s all good, yeah. Here’s the thing that we’re going to reinvent by the way today. And I know we’re talking about a very sort of deep spiritual how to cleanse the past of all your bullshit kind of topic stuff today, but let’s talk money because this is a great follow-up from the last show, with Jeanna Gabellini which was pretty interesting there.

Mary: I love her name.

Steve: Jeanna Gabellini. She is a riot. She’s fun. She is a lot of fun. And so we reinvented profit strategies in the last episode, which was a rocking good time. So, if you’re listening on the podcast please do check that out. Alright. So, here’s what we’re going to do today. We’re going to reinvent Mark Zuckerberg’s money. You heard about this, right?

Mary: Yes.

Steve: So, evidently…

Mary: From you.

Steve: From me. So, evidently having a child will make you do some really f*cking crazy things. I mean, like it will just make you… You know how like with women… Well, of course you know because you’re a woman. And you know how like women with children… Yes, of course you know with women with children because you’ve had children.

Mary: I am a woman and I have two children.

Steve: Two children. By the way, congratulations. You’re going on a date tonight, aren’t you?

Mary: Yes, I am.

Steve: You are. Did you meet him on Tinder?

Mary: I met him at your house.

Steve: At my house. Oh, my God. That is so wrong…

Mary: It’s not wrong.

Steve: You know what? My child – he is 12, that is not right. You can’t date my 12-year-old son.

Mary: No, no.

Steve: Now, that is some serious Mrs. Robinson thing going on right there. Can I tell you… By the way I have never seen that movie. I have never seen Mrs. Robinson. Have you see Mrs. Robinson? You’ve seen Mrs. Robinson.

Mary: Yes.

Steve: Okay, but you never have seen the Simpsons or South Park.

Mary: I don’t like the Simpsons. I don’t like South Park.

Steve: Alright fine. Here’s like the quiz of the day. There’s a guy on the Simpsons who says, hey, everybody… And I cannot place for the life of me which character that is. So, if you’re a Simpsons’ fan and you know who that is that goes, hey everybody, let me know because that’s what I’ve been doing here on Blab is just typing in, hey everybody, so I’ve got like that Simpsons’ voice thing.

Mary: Somebody knows it.

Steve: Somebody knows it. So, if you know it – 866-977-2346, hit #1, is the number there, or just type it in on Blab if you’re live with us because I’m really curious which guy says that. But, as I said, we’re going to reinvent Mark Zuckerberg’s money today. When you have a kid, evidently it kind of makes you do some crazy things like give away 99% of your wealth which is kind of a cool thing…

Mary: That much?
Steve: …but he’s talking. First and foremost, it’s a ridiculous amount of money. So, like 99% of his wealth equates at this point to about $45B. So, $45B is a ridiculous amount of money, but what’s sort of between the lines there is – he’s still keeping 1% which is $450M. So, it’s not like don’t cry for me Argentina.
Mary: Who’s he giving it to?
Steve: Well, that’s the thing. And it’s really interesting because if you’ve got $45B, let’s just say hypothetically you’ve got it in the bank. By the way, what bank could you go to…?
Mary: You have to put it in so many different institutions. You can’t keep it all in one.
Steve: Because the FDIC limit is like a hundred grand.
Mary: Right.
Steve: So… Well, we can insure your account up to a hundred grand. That’s great. I’ve got 45 billion.
Mary: Yeah. You have to go buy an island and go bury it in the sand.
Steve: There’s probably like bank chains that don’t have $45B in assets, at least certainly in cash… Whatever. So, here’s what my question is for you, and I’ve got a mute Richard here on Blab, thank you for the reminder Kelly. If you’ve got $45B in the bank, and I’m just doing the math here because you know I’m a mathematician. You know how brilliant I am. So, $45B in the bank. So, 10% of $45B is 4 ½ billion. So, half of $45B – let’s see, $2.25B, whatever, what’s a couple hundred million between friends. So, even if he just had it conservatively in some accounts that provided 5% return, you’re still talking about just spending $2.50B a year to stay – like you’re not even digging into your principle at that point. So…
Mary: You put a lot of thought in this. Wow!
Steve: I put way too much thought into this.
Mary: My eyes are starting to glaze over.
Steve: And what’s kind of funny about this is like if you’re this guy – if you want to do something, if you want to have a radio show you go and you look – oh, there’s a great radio show, I want to model that. Or if you want to be like a – I don’t know… If you want to be a real estate agent, watch real estate TV shows and you’re like – oh, I can model that. There is like only one person that the Zuckerbergs can model to figure out what to do with all their money. You know who it is?
Mary: Bill Gates?
Steve: Of course it is. I’m so smart. You are seriously smart. So, like the Bill and the Linda Gates Foundation – you know how many employees they have figuring out what the f*ck to do with all of their money? Guess, just guess. We’re playing games. Where did Richard go by the way? Why is Richard not in this game? Richard is like…
Mary: He abandoned us.
Steve: Do you see Richard on Blab right there? That is as handsome as I have ever seen him.
Mary: Yeah, he left the studio.
Steve: He is not even there. So, guess how many employees the Gates Foundation has trying to figure out what to do with all this money?
Mary: Get rid of the money. A thousand?
Steve: Exactly.
Mary: Oh, my God, I’m smart.
Steve: You are so good. You win. Ding, ding ding.
[Laugh]
Steve: Alright. We’ve got to give Mary some hand applause.
Mary: Throw the props at me, people, because I’m guessing.
Steve: A thousand people to try to figure out what to do with all that money. So, okay, so the Zuckerbergs are hurting a little bit. They only have half that much wealth. They’re still going to have to hire like 500 people to figure out what to do with all this money. It’s insane. So, here’s what they’re going to do. They’re going to hire Emily, who’s going to be our guest on today’s program…
Mary: Okay.
Steve: …and they’re going to do some spiritual healing together so they can figure out exactly – ahhh what to do with all of that money. I think Emily is going to be great at figuring out how to help them spend all of that money. But it’s scary because, think about it. If you’re a non-profit and you’re scrambling to try and get $10,000 donations here and $50,000 donations there with the exception of like the bigger ones – the Red Cross, or Habitat for Humanity, or some of the… Most non-profits – I mean my God, if they get a budget of a million dollars a year, that’s a ton. I mean, that’s a lot of money.
Mary: Right.
Steve: And so what’s really interesting is that they were talking about they can’t even really give that much money to some of these causes that they’d like to support because what’s really interesting about that is then they lose sight on really why they started their initiative in the first place, because once you throw that much money in the mix, now everything kind of… You throw it up against…
Mary: That’s a good problem to have in a way.
Steve: It’s a good problem to have but people don’t… That’s the funny thing because people want a lot of money. If you watch the lottery shows, people don’t know what to do when they have that much money. People don’t know what to do. People are always like oh, I want to have a million in the bank, and once I have a million… These people who go out and they win the lottery… Stop podding me down.
Mary: [Laugh]
Steve: If these people go out and they win the lottery like historically they blow through their money in like five years.
Mary: They do. What is wrong with people? I don’t even get that.
Steve: I know.
Mary: Give it to be. I’ll be responsible.
Steve: So, that’s what we’re going to do. By the way, last week if you tuned into the Reinvention Radio Show here live and maybe if you listened to the podcast and caught one of the past episodes, you know that I started my own non-profit. Do you remember what my own non-profit is? You don’t remember?
Mary: Uh um.
Steve: It’s the Steve Olsher Needs a New Ferrari Foundation. Steve Olsher Needs A New Ferrari Foundation.
Mary: How’s that working?
Steve: It’s working great. So, here’s what you do.
Mary: How’s the license plate hanging?
Steve: Yeah, that’s funny. I have to go behind my bike and tie it up. Thank you for that. That’s an actual motorcycle here, people. So, go to Paypal.me/MrBold and you can just send me money for my foundation.
Mary: Okay.
Steve: So, here’s what we’re going to do. I am going to reach out for the Zuckerbergs and I’m going to talk to them about my non-profit. And I don’t see any reason whatsoever why they won’t donate. So, that’s my plan. And, yes, CJ we are moving right now towards more of a spiritual conversation.
Mary: Yes.
Steve: If you have you ever listened to Reinvention Radio before you can expect just a little bit of shall we say like opening banter here to the…
Mary: Yes. The first segment is always…
Steve: …opening banter.
Mary: CJ, you should have heard the last hour.
Steve: Yeah. You should have heard the last hour. But thank you for bearing with us, CJ, because we are going to get to our guest, Emily Filloramo. And, by the way, this is a live radio show. So, for those who are on Blab right now watching us again, thank you very, very much as we broadcast live every Thursday from 12 until 2 Pacific and you’re going to see what the heck is going on there because like you’re not going to see us talking, you’re not going to see us because that means we are on break. So, this is an actual radio show that we broadcast live out of San Diego and we were the first radio show in the world to broadcast our show live on Blab and that is what we’re going to do after the break is we’re going to talk to Emily Filloramo and we are going to be reinventing spiritual healing here on Reinvention Radio right after this.
[Commercial]
Steve: Welcome back to Reinvention Radio with your host, Steve Olsher, and today we are…
Mary: What about me?
Steve: …I am getting there. And today we are joined by the lovely round-eye browed… is that right?
Mary: Yes.
Steve: Mary Goulet and Rich.
Rich: I left you hanging…
Steve: You don’t get like a whole big loving description if you leave me hanging like that man. Oh by the way, this episode of Reinvention Radio is brought to you by an official sponsor. Isn’t that so cool?
Mary: Yes.
Steve: It really only took us 28 years but we finally have gotten an official sponsor and we love our sponsor…
Mary: We’ll see how that works after this show.
Steve: We’ll see if he renews, that’s the better question. I know, Mary, you’re in real estate, right?
Mary: Yes, I am.
Steve: Yes, you are. You had to think about that for a second. You do real estate fun stuff.
Mary: Yes, I am in real estate.
Steve: And you’ve probably heard that apartment buildings can be a great investment, yes?
Mary: Yes. I’d love to own a four-plex.
Steve: Of course you would. So, done right, investing in multifamily real estate can provide a nest egg for retirement. It could even set you free from a 9 to 5 corporate grind, but getting started is hard. So, wouldn’t you like to learn from one of the best, Mary, in terms of how it’s done right and learn from one of the pros?
Mary: Yes.
Steve: Awesome. So, check out The Mortar. The Mortar, I love that.
Mary: I know. It’s very visual.
Steve: Where professional investor, Jonothan Twombly will share his insider tips and strategies and it is all free. So, just subscribe to The Mortar, that’s TheMortarblog.com. The Mortar, it’s what holds the bricks together. So, hey, we’ve got Emily on. So, I knew if I just like paused long enough we’d give Emily an opportunity…
Mary: Take a deep breath…
Steve: …to get in here, to join us and she is on the phone right now. Awesome. So, let’s bring Emily up and we will see Emily’s camera in a second or at the very least we will have Emily on the line here, although we may not be able to see her. We’ll figure that out. I don’t know. We’ll figure that out, but Emily you’re here with us, correct?
Emily: Yes, I am Steve.
Mary: Yay!
Emily: I’m excited to be here.
Steve: Well, we can hear you and we will try to figure out the video thing on your end at some point but nevertheless we can hear you. And just go ahead and just mute your radio there but as long as everybody else can hear you then we will be good to go, which they should be able to hear you through Blab now that you have dialed in. So, awesome. So, thank you so much for that. Very cool. Alright. So, Emily for those who don’t know you, give us sort of a little bit of the rundown of who you are, what you’re doing… You’ve got a pretty interesting story of – I guess what some people might say is just a pretty stellar career in a particular industry and then you really just completely started over. So, pretty interesting there. So, take us through that.
Emily: Yes. Well, I call myself a Be More Extraordinary Magician now, helping game changes become the most extraordinary version of themselves so that they can unleash their revolution and just listen to their destiny. And it’s about helping people to polish the diamond of who they really are, so that they could listen to their destiny and make the difference in the world and still feeling really good about themselves and really showing up as a (inaudible 15:44) extraordinary version of them. And so this journey started a long time ago. I spent 27 years in the pharmaceutical industry marketing pharmaceuticals and back in October 2011 I was laid off and in March of 2012 I decided, you know what? No one wants to hire me because I’m too old. And so that started my entrepreneurial journey simply because my money manager put that little bug in my ear and said – you know what, Emily? You should become an entrepreneur. You have all the skillsets. And had he not said that I would have never gone on this journey because I had no idea I had all of those skillsets. And, so, it’s been a wild and crazy ride, including meeting you at AFEST.
Steve: I know. That would be lingo for awesomenessfest for those who are not in the know because we are just so awesome that we have our own fest.
Mary: Do you guys do all these like three-day weekend conventions and get togethers all the time?
Steve: Only the cool people, yeah.
Mary: I do nothing.
Steve: So, your invention’s in the mail. It’s coming. Literally, it is in the mail. Okay, so here’s my question for you then. So, 27 years in a very specific career. What you did is a full on 180. In my world of reinvention you are lovingly known as a full blown reinventor. Because what you are doing now does not even remotely reflect what you were doing for the past 27 odd years of your career. So, what on earth made you shift into then this whole sort of as you call it psycho-spiritual healing modality that you really help people to permanently erase their negative self-talk, their fears, their insecurities and make those quantum leaps. How on earth did you then get from Point A to Point B? Those are very different points on the road.
Emily: I know. Those are such odd points. That has nothing to do with pharmaceuticals but the pharmaceutical career really gave me a foundation for sales and marketing and interacting with people. Because, as you know, Steve, you can’t get anywhere in life especially in an entrepreneurial journey without having the courage to market yourself and speak to people and build relationships. So, those skillsets certainly transferred over. And, in terms of like understanding the health care arena and pharmaceuticals and… That also transfers over into this arena, because I do – part of becoming your most extraordinary self is about getting all of the parts of you, the parts of your life – your health, your spirituality, and your career – everything in alignment. And a lot of times people need to understand how the psycho-spiritual, emotional, intellectual, how that’s all connected because it’s a whole holistic view of things. And my background in pharmaceuticals and just understanding that landscape really helped me to understand how to connect the dots for people to really improve their lives holistically. So, how I even ended up finding my soul calling is that I (inaudible 18:43) as a Nutritionist first. That’s what I studied at Cornell, and it made sense for me just – okay, let me just market myself as a Nutritionist. What I found out being a Nutritionist was that a year and a half into it I really did not like telling people how to eat their green beans and drink their green smoothies. Because people know what they’re supposed to do so they don’t do it.
Mary: Awesome. Learning that was a good thing for you to get you to the next level. It’s all part of the journey.
Emily: Yes. It was all the twists and turns that I had to take and it was all through the journey of just networking, doing that process, going to conferences, going to (inaudible 19:28) networking events… That because I was fearless and I knew that failure was never going to be an option. I did what I had to do in order to build a relationship and being in the nutrition space and just meeting certain people switched because people started to trust me and they were getting very vulnerable and one thing led to another and it ended up meeting somebody that really needed my help, that needed to get unstuck, and unleashed his entrepreneurial journey and so this person has become my guinea pig in this model of psycho-spiritual healing I was starting to get myself trained in Internal Family Systems developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. And so after I coached this first person and after the first three-hour session and he said – oh my gosh what you did for me in three hours was more powerful than 20 years of psychotherapy.
Mary: Wow!
Emily: And the next morning he woke up happy…
Steve: So, for those of us who are like – I don’t know about that… So, what did you do that helped this person in three hours that 20 years of psychotherapy couldn’t help this person do? Let’s be specific. What did you do?
Emily: Okay. So, psychotherapy certainly did help him get to a level of stability and psychotherapy is a phenomenal – there’s some phenomenal psychotherapists out there that help people to deal with their issues and their challenges and their struggles. But psychotherapy can only take people so far. You can’t really – it doesn’t really do the finishing job of really polishing up that diamond. So, what I did was, there was a part of him that one of the most traumatic memories that he had was his parents divorcing when he was four years old, and even though he had talked about that issue (inaudible 21:24) in therapy it was still this burden that he was carrying, that 4-year-old part of him that still felt like he was not good enough, that he was not loveable. Because that 4-year-old, when these negative events happen we try to make meaning – as little kids, we try to make meaning out of why are these bad things happening to us. So, that little boy took on the belief, “I must not be good enough or loveable enough” and that’s why Mommy and Daddy are leaving. So, intellectually he knows that he’s phenomenal but subconsciously – when our subconscious, whatever our beliefs are drives 90% of our results in our beliefs in ourselves. And, so I had to go and safely go – take him back to that original scene where his highest spiritual self went in and talked with his 4-year-old heart. Basically “reparented” his 4-year-old heart and rescues him out of that scene and reprogramed his beliefs about what he’s all about. Let’s call him David. So, David specifically told this little kid “I’ve got you”. Mommy and Daddy are divorcing, not because it’s your fault, it’s their issues, you don’t understand them right now, but “I’ve got you. I love you always” and you’re going to be part of my team in helping me to move forward. And so he would also help… I also helped him to unburden the “I’m not good enough, I’m not loveable” and there’s just this certain ritual that we go through – do you want to bury it in the fire, let the ocean take it away, let the balloons take away, put it in the rocket ship of that burden of “I’m not good enough/not loveable” and so when that’s released that’s when you could release the energetic burdens that you’ve been holding onto for a long time.
Mary: So, it’s kind of like inner child work. Remember… Who’s the guy that did that – launched the inner child work…?
Steve: That was Mr. Rogers I believe.
Mary: No. Rich?
Rich: Dog gone it, people like me.
Steve: No, that was Bill Cosby. I believe that Bill Cosby was the one that was doing all the inner work.
Mary: Oh, my gosh!
Rich: I know which one you’re talking about. Coming home guy or whatever his name was?
Mary: Yeah. He invented inner child work. It sounds similar that the grownup talks to their inner child.
Emily: Yeah, they are.
Rich: (Buscaglia 23:42) I think is who you’re talking about.
Emily: Yes.
Steve: And people say that when I’m talking to the various personalities in my head that I’ve got issues. So, now all Emily is really doing is validating all of the voices that are in my head where they’re talking to each other and really trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.
Mary: So, huge understanding now of you.
Steve: But I now feel validated, so I’m great.
Mary: Good.
Steve: So, this was probably the single most powerful episode of Reinvention Radio for me personally like – ever. So, I’m validated. I can breathe now. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to talk more with Emily after the break here about Reinventing Spiritual Healing on Reinvention Radio.
[Commercial]
Steve: Alright. How could you not move your head to that, exactly.
Mary: Yeah. You have a picture of Lenny Kravitz on your desk, don’t you?
Steve: I do. And that was like the…
Mary: Where is your wife? Why don’t you have a picture of your wife but you have a picture of Lenny Kravitz.
Steve: I have pictures of my wife. I do. They just look like Lenny Kravitz.
Mary: [Laugh]
Steve: So, I just had her dress up like Lenny. Is that a problem? I don’t see any…
Rich: Photoshop his head on hers.
Mary: That’s so weird.
Steve: I actually had this conversation yesterday at the networking event that I was at and we were talking about Lenny because they saw my tattoo because I have Let Love Rule tattooed on my arm but my sleeve won’t go up that far, but I’ll show you guys later. So, I have Let Love Rule tattooed on my arm and someone’s like oh that’s so cool, that’s Lenny Wright da da da and he was like I’ve got tattoos of like Pearl Jam stuff on my back and da da da. I was like, it’s no it’s not my back, it’s on my arm, if it’s on your back it’s a little gay, but this is not gay when it’s on your arm. That’s pretty gay. Not that I’m against gay.
Mary: Is that a thing?
Steve: Not that I have anything against gay people. I love gay people. Some of my best friends are gay, some of my best friends are HIV positive, exactly. So, I embrace all kinds. But what he said to me was basically…
Mary: Wow!
Steve: …he said…
Rich: That was deep.
Steve: Thank you. He said if Lenny comes knocking on the door even though I love my wife that’s probably like the hall pass that I’m going to want. I said, I’m exactly the same. I said, if Lenny comes to my door that’s the hall pass I’m going to ask my wife for right there. Not that I would ever do it, but just to show my commitment I’ll even go on the bottom, just because I love Lenny that much. So, it’s like…
Mary: Okay, Kelly, rescue me. Somebody rescue me.
Steve: I’m just telling you, I am committed…
Rich: You have the volume control over there, Mary.
Steve: When I am committed, I am all in committed. Okay? So, that’s how I am in this radio show. That’s how I am to my guests, that’s how I am to my audience. I am fully committed.
Mary: I’ve got one foot in the control booth over there.
Steve: You do. You know how committed I am? I actually got my lovely folks here free tickets. Free tickets. So, if you’re in the San Diego area and you’re watching live here on Blab or listening in, how you take props away – that’s funny, Kelly. So, if you’re listening in on Blab right now, I’ve got free tickets. Or if you’re listening on live on WSRadio.com, whatever it might be, call us here at the station if you want tickets to go check out the House of Blues. They’ve gonna’ do a 80s rock tribute band that does a lot of AC DC stuff and a lot of other stuff, and that’s going to be at the House of Blues tomorrow night, December 4th, so give us a holler here at 866-977-2346 and hit #1. I’ve got a whole stack of tickets. You can come down to the radio station and pick them up here and take about 30 friends because that’s how many tickets we’ve got.
Mary: How many do you have?
Steve: I’ve got a lot of tickets.
Mary: Wow!
Steve: So, if you want to go see an 80s rock tribute band at the House of Blues tomorrow night, stop by the station or WS Radio and we got tickets for you, so how about…
Mary: From Wade.
Steve: White Wade in the house coming through once again. That is just awesome.
Mary: White Wade in the house.
Steve: That is a lot of tickets. Very cool. And I can see it’s still funny. It’s like, based on the things that I say… See, here’s how like I can really judge what’s going on in Reinvention Radio land. Like, I couldn’t do this before because when you’re just going over the airwaves you never really know if people are tuning in, if they’re tuning out, what they’re doing. On Blab when I say really stupid things I see the numbers go down. So, it’s like – okay, note to self: Don’t talk about being Lenny’s bottom again ever. Okay, got it! Never again. I will never, ever, ever… And you can’t take away my props, Kelly. It won’t happen.
Rich: I was just going to say that.
Steve: So, let’s bring Emily back on if she’s even still there. Emily, did you survive that?
Emily: I’m still on Steve.
Mary: That’s one of us.
Emily: You weren’t able to bring the camera back on I guess. It’s just not working on my end.
Steve: I don’t know. You’ve got to figure out something there on your end. That’s the beauty of technology. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not, but we can hear you loud and clear. Although we would love to see your smiling face, we can definitely hear you loud and clear which is awesome.
Steve: So, before the break you were starting to take us through a lot of the work that you’re doing with your clients, but what I’m really trying to understand is you are not like… This is where I don’t get it. It’s like… I didn’t go to broadcasting school but I can do radio…
Mary: Right.
Steve: …but if I’m not – if I wasn’t trained to be a neurosurgeon, I shouldn’t be operating on anybody’s brain.
Mary: Those are big extremes.
Steve: They’re big extremes but it’s like when you think about like things that you want people to be trained in if someone is trying to help you from a therapeutic perspective, you probably want them to be trained, no? Yeah? Because Emily you were not like officially per se certified or trained, but you have been able to help your clients in massive ways. So, how did you overcome that? Because there are people who can be very good at certain things but they feel like they can’t do it because they don’t have that piece of paper or whatever it might take to give them the credibility or the authority that they need.
Emily: Great question, Steve. I am officially trained in the psycho-spiritual healing model called Internal Family Systems developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. He developed it around 30 years ago and he’s a training practitioner for the last 10 years. And the majority of the people that are trained in it are psychotherapists. About… There’s a minority of us, maybe 10-15% of us who are non-therapists that are trained in this because at its core this is spiritual healing. This is modern day Shamanism.
Steve: Okay.
Emily: It’s modern day Shamanism. It’s letting the highest spirit of who you are, that essence of the real you, that part heals the “inner child” and also heals the parts of you that are afraid of success, afraid of rejection, afraid of the spotlight… All those protective mechanisms. The parts of you that eats too much, shops too much, works too much, gets angry, controlling – all those little personalities inside of you. So, (inaudible 31:14). I don’t need to know psychotherapy techniques per se. So psychotherapists get trained in Internal Family Systems and then even end up not even using what they were trained in in psychotherapy school. So, at its core, this is spiritual healing.
Steve: Gotcha.
Emily: And that’s why non-therapists can be trained in it. So, he’s got priests and yoga teachers and then (inaudible 31:46) teachers, and many of the non-therapists were in Executive Coaching and Leadership Development.
Mary: I went to a therapist for a while and she has a Shaman that she will – yeah! All different modalities. Once you start going down that rabbit hole, there’s always more things you can learn.
Steve: Yeah. My therapist’s name is Dave and Dave has a wide assortment of treatments. Treatments… Would you like this treatment or would you like this treatment? And you know what? I’ve got to tell you, his therapy is probably among the best I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Mary: And sunshine.
Steve: And sunshine, exactly. It’s pretty interesting because like – you know how you hang around certain people and you just feel good and they like elevate you and they take you to new levels. Like, if you hung out with Emily, I could see how like spiritually and emotionally, like you would just – you’d expand and you would grow as a person. When you’re around me…
Mary: There’s a huge contraction.
Steve: So, what are you guys thinking about over there? [Laugh] And, by the way, you guys – you can’t laugh on things that you’re looking at when you actually mic’d.
Mary: I’m not looking. This is black and I’m just looking at Blab.
Steve: No. You can’t have like private inside joke meemie thingys going on here.
Mary: Did you have a private inside joke for me?
Steve: You kids over there are laughing.
Mary: Kelly has more of a…
Rich: Kelly’s even telling you to focus.
Steve: I know. Focus. Focus. Alright, that’s fine. Very cool. So, Emily, let’s go back through… Emily’s like oh my God and it’s like – this is going to be sort of like a constant theme. This is how we’re going to know whether or not it’s a good show is whether or not we get a bill from our guests. That’s how we’re going to know.
Mary: Right. Completely wasting their time.
Steve: You know, I bill at $150,000 an hour and that just cost me… So, if we get a bill then we’ll know exactly what Emily thought of this interview. So, take us back through – and there’s obviously a lot of different ways that you can help people but mostly it’s this whole sort of self-talk that you address so well. What do you do to quiet, to squash, that voice? And how do you know the difference between when like you have intuition and things are going to happen or when it’s sort of like that self-talk and it’s just fear? You know what I mean?
Emily: Yeah. So we all have some form of negative self-talk because of the fact that we have all had significant emotional events (and devaluing 34:21) experience that have happened to us as kids. We can have the greatest parents in the world and the most loving but those people there’s some instances at school – maybe getting bullied, maybe not feeling smart enough, getting made fun of, all of those parts of us get frozen in time when we feel shame and rejection, and embarrassment. And, so, those are the young parts of us that stop us when we are trying to quantum leap to the next level. And those are the negative energies that these young parts of us are holding onto it is what is holding us back from (mistakes stepping up 35:00), making a speech, making fun of a thousand people, going to the networking events, whatever you’re struggling with that negative self-talk it has to be identified. Okay, there’s a part of you that’s afraid to go up to that person at the networking meeting, okay, what is it reminding you of, what is this part of you afraid of if you do go up and say hello. It probably thinks you’re still in 3rd grade when you were rejected by the pretty girls, or you were rejected by the cool kids.
Mary: Steve?
Steve: I was going to throw Wade under the bus on that one. Thanks, Mary.
Rich: Sorry. Checkmarks are already on here.
Steve: Wade’s not even here to defend himself but I was going to throw him under the bus on that one. Alright. So, actually really good question here from Joe, and what he’s asking is Joe is wondering what exactly is spiritual healing? We’ve got a minute here before we’ve got to go the break and pay some more bills here, but give us a quick answer for what Joe’s asking exactly how would you define spiritual healing?
Emily: It’s about getting in touch with your highest version of youth. The you that you know that is the most extraordinary diamond of your real self, and having that part of you drives the bus of your life, instead of all of your fears, insecurities, and negative self-talk. Oh, why does that (anger 36:22) controlling part come up every day? Why am I procrastinating every day? Why do I not feel good about myself? So, this is getting the diamond of the real you out because the more emotional traumas that we have had the more the real you gets pushed away and locked away. I’m like, I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Steve: That makes really, really good sense. And if you do have any questions, definitely pop them in here on the comment log here or you can put a /Q in the chat and we will then see it as a question. Pretty cool feature there.
Mary: Which is cool. I like that.
Steve: Yeah. And on the break, Mary, I want you to think about everything that Emily said because I know that these are the voices that you consistently hear and I want you on the break to heal yourself spiritually. So, when we come back I want to see what sort of breakthrough we’ve had. Okay? Cool.
Mary: Wow. Thank you?
Steve: Alright. More on Reinvention Radio right after this.
[Commercial]
Steve: Welcome back to Reinvention Radio with Mary Goulet and Rich Otey.
Mary: Yay!
Rich: Yah!
Steve: And Steve…
Mary: And Wade.
Steve: And Emily. We’ve got everybody today. See that all works out.
Mary: And Kelly…
Steve: And Kelly, yay! And White Wade.
[Housekeeping]
Steve: We’re doing this Blab thing, so Emily you’ve got to mute your computer mic and we’ll still hear you through the phone. Alright, bring Emily back up on the board here.
Mary: I did.
Steve: So, Emily, we can hear you, correct, yes? Hello.
Emily: Computer mic okay.
Steve: Alright. It’s all good.
Mary: It’s alright.
Steve: We’ve got Emily on finally. It only took us like 4 ½ segments to get Emily to show her beautiful smile and to join us here live. So, very, very cool. Welcome. Welcome. Man, it’s just crazy how quickly time flies here. So, Emily, you’ve got a new book coming out and I want to give you an opportunity to talk about that. What is the name of the book and when will it be out?
Emily: Oh, it’s been out. It came out May of 2015. It came out a few months ago and it talks about everything that I just talked about. How to permanently erase negative self-talk so you could be extraordinary.
Steve: Gotcha.
Mary: Nice. So, stop talking negatively to me.
Steve: Oh, I’m sorry. I haven’t read the book yet. I’m going to go get it.
Emily: Steve, I did mail a copy to you a while back, so it may be on the bookshelf somewhere.
Steve: Actually, now I remember. Emily, I have to admit. We hit a rough patch, things got cold in San Diego, we burned a lot of books. I had to stay warm. It was either that or my kid would die.
Mary: Right. A cold patch in San Diego.
Steve: Hey. And so, Emily, I’m sorry but that definitely explains what happened. So, please send us another copy and we will actually read and not burn that one.
Emily: Okay. I’ll send you...
Steve: How do people get a copy of that book? Where can they go?
Emily: Wherever books are sold, and Amazon.com, [overtalking 40:49] and Barnes & Noble…
Steve: Cool. We didn’t give you a chance either to tell folks how to find you. So, what is your website? Where do people go?
Emily: bemoreextraordinary.com is my website.
Steve: bemoreextraordinary.com. Okay. Awesome. So, Mary, I know you had…
Emily: And I know – I started talking about the steps of how to erase this negative self-talk insecurities. If people are interested in the steps they could download a free report that talks about the steps. Just go to nonegativetalk.com and you’ll be able to download for free the steps that it takes.
Steve: Awesome.
Emily: You have to go through the doorway of the [unclear] that you’re not too happy with, meaning my angry part, my controlling part, my fear of success, fear of failure, my procrastination, my eating too much, drinking too much, shopping too much, whatever it is, whatever you’re struggling with – relationships, career, your health, anything can be solved with this.
Steve: Gotcha. And just so we aren’t flushing people out here with feedback who are listening live, you’re on a Mac, correct, Emily?
Emily: Yes.
Steve: Okay, so just hit the fourth button from the right at the top there, so not the increase volume, not the lower volume, but the F10 which is the mute. So, hit that one so we’re not feedbacking. So, now we’re muted on that. I think that will be better. Awesome. So, Mary, over the break we were talking about some of the healing powers of therapy and the healing powers of just having this positive mental attitude. Why don’t you share what you’re talking about over the break.
Mary: I don’t remember. [Laugh]
Steve: Were you smoking? Rich, you’ve got to stop giving…
Rich: She sold it.
Steve: That was like three minutes ago.
Mary: What were we talking about?
Steve: So, Rich, please stop bringing substances to the studio.
Rich: Your date probably.
Steve: Your date, so the negative stuff. So, Mary has her first date in 14 years tonight. And, so, congratulations by the way and what’s her name?
Mary: It’s all because of you.
Steve: And what’s her name again?
Mary: Shut up! It’s a guy.
Steve: It is a guy. So…
Mary: He can kick your butt. [Laugh]
Steve: I’m sure he probably could and I might like it. So, Emily. Mary’s just going on this date. It’s been a little while. She’s probably got this negative self-talk kind of thing going on. So, step Mary through what she should be thinking about before, during and after the date. Take us through Mary’s…
Emily: Oh, this is cool.
Mary: There you go!
Steve: See!
Emily: So, Mary, this exciting date that’s coming up tonight, what are you thinking and saying to yourself inside?
Mary: [Laugh]
Steve: Yeah, Mary, what are you thinking?
Rich: Tell us, live.
Emily: If you’re willing. If you don’t want to do this on the air. Because I can give you an example of how this…
Mary: I’m turning red.
Steve: No examples… Yeah, Mary, what are you thinking? Let’s go through that.
Mary: I’m just excited to go out. [Laugh]
Steve: Wait a minute. There’s an outside?
Mary: There’s a restaurant? Like going to my favorite restaurant and getting dressed up.
Steve: Is he bringing coupons to Burger King as well?
Mary: Yep.
Steve: Nice.
Mary: I am certainly not telling you where I’m going. That’s the last thing I would do.
Steve: Please do. We’ll periscope live from Mary’s date. [Laugh]
Mary: And I’m getting Kelly’s like – how could you not tell me about this date? I’m just excited.
Steve: So, Mary’s excited. There we go. So, now what?
Emily: Do you have any life insecurities, that’s like – oh, geez, am I going to get nervous… Is there a nervous part, anxious part?
Mary: Sure. There’s a little bit of that. Absolutely.
Steve: What if like before the main course he’s like, okay, see what you can do with this, and then you’re like – whoa, hold on, we just had appetizers. So, that’s like…
Mary: [Laugh] We have to go through a process, right?
Steve: Right. Exactly. We’ve at least got to get to dessert. Is that a fear?
Mary: No. He’s a gentleman. He’s not like you. [Laugh]
Emily: So, for example, having a little bit of anxiety right before a date, a first date, is very normal. It’s about, what is this job of this anxious part that comes up? What is it trying to remind you of? And if you don’t want to answer I could like give you an example of a job of a protector, because this is a protective mechanism.
Mary: I’ll play. I think it’s wanting to put out that mask a little bit and then balance how much I really am inside, I will show it, so not too much so I’m vulnerable.
Steve: Yeah. And we’ve got 90 seconds.
Rich: She’s good at aversion, isn’t she?
Steve: Yeah, totally and completely.
Emily: So, that’s its job is saying that it wants to help you to put on somewhat of a mask so that you could put on your best face because what is it afraid of if it doesn’t do its job of helping you put on a polished face, a polished persona?
Mary: Rejection.
Emily: Yep. And then if you did get rejected because it’s afraid of rejection, it didn’t do its job, and if you did get rejected then what is going to happen to Mary if she did get rejected?
Mary: I’m going to go home and sit on the sofa and eat ice cream. I don’t know. But I get your process. It’s interesting. Thanks for putting me in the…
Steve: That’s what I do.
Emily: Yes, so that you feel bad… Yeah. This is so common. Everyone goes through this. Rejection – whether it’s business or love or career, if you feel rejected, then what will happen if you get rejected and people will say oh, I can never feel sad, and I would get lonely, I would not go out of the house… So, it’s all preventing me from getting into that bad space. But then it would remind you…
Steve: Obviously, there’s a whole process to this, but I think it’s definitely a what then and then playing it through your mind what’s worse case and then kind of going on from there. And then once you can figure out what the worst case is then you can really just kind of blow it up. So, very cool. So, we can check out Emily’s work at bemoreextraordinary.com. Very cool. And, again, thanks to our sponsor The Mortar and Jonothan Twombly, the professional real estate investor who will teach you everything you need to know about how to get involved in real estate investing at TheMortarblog.com. The Mortar, it’s what holds the bricks together. So, thanks so much to Jonothan for being our sponsor. Thanks for Emily being on and Mary and Rich, and we will see you guys next week live on Blab her on Reinvention Radio. Talk real soon.
[Closing]
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