In this Rant
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Steve: Hope you guys are ready for this one. Welcome to another edition here of The Rant here on Reinvention Radio. I am Steve Olsher along with Rich Otey, we’ve got White Wade in the house, Mary Goulet decided I am not coming in for this one which is very smart. So, instead I think we traded up. Wouldn’t you say we traded up here because we’ve got Paul.
Paul: Right on. I’m like two Marys.
Steve: You’re like two Marys. I would agree with that. So, big news. Big, big, big news.
Rich: Ooh, whatcha got?
Steve: I’m so exciting I don’t even know if I want to stand up. That’s how excited I am. I probably should just sit down for a few minutes.
Rich: I’ll stay seated.
Steve: You stay seated because I don’t know if you heard this or not, you know Porn Hub, right?
Rich: Oh, geez.
Steve: Come on, Rich, you know it.
Steve: I’ve got a better question. Where’s Teeno? We’ll have Teeno come here and talk about...
Paul: What hub?
Steve: Yeah, Porn Hub. So, here’s what Porn Hub... This can’t be real. This cannot be real. So, let’s just call it a seemingly bizarre move out of the porn industry, Porn Hub is launching a new fitness system. A new fitness system that is both wearable and combines workout videos called – ready for this? BangFit. BangFit.
Rich: Hey, Martin would be impressed with this because it’s combining the two...
Steve: This is branding here. That’s right, so there you go. That’s exactly what...
Wade: Is it really that great of a demand for a one-armed exercise program?
Rich: That’s the bar, 16 oz. curls.
Steve: So, as its name suggests, it helps you bang to get fit. Alright. Here’s how it works. Now, this is like the pinnacle – oh oh, we lost Wade. Wade is gone. He’s gone. We just lost Wade.
Rich: He’s going to exercise.
Steve: He’s going to go buy the BangFitter right now. Wade just ran to the computer. [Laughter] Bangfit.com. Have at it, my friend. So, talk about the pinnacle, like the ultimate bangafica... I mean gamification of all of the...
Steve: Thank you very much. Of all time. Here’s how it works. Users can join the game at a website which allows them to sync the game to their phones. So, there is an option for one player, two players, and three players. Now, Wade, if I’m guessing... [Laughing] Alright, how about this. As a whole – get it, as a hole?
Rich: Every word is loaded in this conversation.
Steve: Right, as a whole. So, as a whole, as a percentage, how many – as a percentage, how many percentage of the games do you think are going to be played by one player, two players, or three players?
Wade: It’s like this – do they not know their own demographic?
Wade: 99 point...
Steve: The Development Team is like wait a minute, wait a minute, you want me to... You really – let me just get this straight. You really want to invest money in having us develop this for a three-player game? Seriously.
Paul: They could this like Xbox where you play someone...
Rich: Yeah. Multi-player games.
Steve: Okay, so there you go. So, it’s a competition. I think in some circles they call it a circle jerk, right? And that was free. You didn’t even have to pay for that, but this thing you have to pay for. So, from there you can choose. So, you select whether or not you want one player...
Wade: Hold on! However, if we’re doing it virtually like Xbox then...
Steve: You’re not doing it...
Paul: You take on Avatars.
Wade: Well, yeah, I was going to say, but of course she’s a 19-year-old blonde college coed on the other end.
Steve: Wearing a Christian school girl uniform with the thigh highs and whatnot, yeah.
Wade: But, of course. So, as long as we keep it in the virtual world...
Steve: I’ve got to tell you. Of all the Halloween outfits my wife ever wore, that was my favorite right there, just the white thigh highs, the....
Wade: School girl.
Steve: ...school girl, the little plaid something or another... As a matter of fact, I’ll be back. Just give me like 30 seconds here – I won’t need much more, but I’ll be right back. So, check it out. So, you can join the game and then you choose your sexercise with information about how each position burns calories. Man vs. woman of course because this is a politically correct...
Steve: ...why on earth would they even have to say that?
Rich: Yeah, exactly.
Wade: Sure it is.
Steve: And how could they tell anyway? So, if you’re like... So, basically you get points and there’s a BangFit Band. There is a BangFit Band...
Rich: How much bang do you get for your buck?
Steve: Well, there’s the question. So, there’s a BangFit Band like literally, not musical instruments, people like... That would be funnier actually. If you bought this and then like a band came and played while you were doing... Now, that would be funny. Alright, but it straps on – of course it straps on, what else would it do? So, it’s like a waistband... I can’t even do it. There’s nothing you can do here. Basically, you put your phone in this thing and then it tracks – just like – you know how like you move steps, right? So, how many steps did you take today?
Steve: Right. It’s like a pedometer for your penis. I think it’s kind of like how many penis...
Wade: Wait! Hold on. Is it measuring the activity there or...
Steve: Let’s not get into measuring.
Wade: ...or in your arm, right?
Rich: This could depress people.
Wade: And then how does it know...
Rich: No activity...
Steve: You fail!
Rich: Eck. We better give him his money back.
Steve: What if you came in last place like in a competition [Laugh], especially like – I thought I was really good at this and the one player if you came in last place, how depressing would that be?
Wade: Okay. A quick shout out. Everybody go to YouTube and search “everybody has more sex than me.”
Steve: Everybody has more sex than me.
Wade: I’m just going to throw that in. We can move on now.
Steve: Okay, sweet. So, basically, here’s how it works. So, users pop their phone into this BangFit like band really, I don’t know what else to call it here, but interestingly enough it’s only worn by one player. So, I’m not quite sure how that works because somehow... All I know. Here’s what I know. If you’re going to earn a living and you have to be in Research and Development, I think that might be the team that I would be like, yeah, you know, look, Mom! And you said my Engineering degree was going to go to waste. You thought all this money you invested in me was going to go to waste.
Wade: And how about this? Not only did I not go blind, I made a career of it.
Steve: All those years, this is what you thought. So, Rich, so right now go to Bankfit.com and get us four and next week’s episode we’re going to see who wins.
Rich: I’m afraid I might get some sort of virus and the computer will shut down.
Steve: Hey, dude, if you only get a virus in your computer then you win.
Wade: You’re coming out ahead.
Steve: Oh, man. So, what else happened this week? Lots of interesting things, not the least of which of course we’re talking about balls here, basketball, right? Basketball, baseball, the whole 9. Rich is like – where are you going with that? Cubbies, you’ve got to love my Cubbies. They’re still playing really really well, which is a good thing and even the Sox are playing really well.
Wade: Those are baseball teams.
Steve: Yes. Baseball has been very, very good to me.
Wade: Keep in mind I know nothing about sports, but continue.
Steve: Okay, sweet. So, sports are things that teams do together. They play with each other’s balls...
Wade: Okay, that fits in with the BangFit thing.
Steve: Exactly, that’s the BangFit. So, did you know that the Cleveland Cavaliers have done something that no other team... Well, that’s not true. There’s been a couple other teams, but the Bulls, right? Michael Jordan, go way back, the Bulls were a dominant team, kind of like Golden State is now, but actually Cleveland has been playing in a more dominant manner than the Bulls or Golden State. You know what they’ve done that no other team – there’s a couple other things, but no other team recently has done. Any guesses? Cleveland. Paul, you follow basketball.
Paul: No, not really, sorry.
Steve: Alright, fine. Rich, what do you think they’ve done?
Rich: Allowed more points than any other team but still won?
Steve: Nope. Wade, you don’t play basketball. So, here’s the thing. White Men Can’t Jump – all four of us were like – we could like try to catapult each other and we still wouldn’t hit the rim. And, so, they’ve gone 9 and 0. 9 and 0 to start the playoffs. Something no Michael Jordan Bulls team ever did. As a matter of fact, the Bulls went 15 and 2 in ’90/’91, lost to the 76ers in the second round there and not the whole thing but lost a game and then the ‘95/’96 Bulls went 15 and 3 and dropped a game to the Knicks. Interestingly enough the ’89 and 2001 Lakers, they went longer than the Cavaliers in their start. But, what’s really interesting is in 1989 when the Lakers went 11 and 0 in the playoffs and met Detroit in the finals, they got swept. They got swept! So, they went 11 and 0.
Wade: Oh, wow!
Steve: They got swept.
Wade: Now, in basketball, do they have Divisions and is this team – is Cleveland in an easy division?
Steve: Well, people have argued that the East is a little bit easier than the West, so go figure. But, all I know is at this juncture I still don’t see anybody beating Golden State, but that’s just me. Alright. So, real quick here. Donald Trump, still got the election thing going on. When is California’s Primary? It’s coming up like really really soon, right?
Wade: June 6?
Rich: June 7th or 6th, something like that.
Steve: June 6th or 7th. Alright. So, what exactly happened in Nevada? Because I didn’t quite follow exactly what happened but somehow, someway the delegates got... How do delegates riot? But there was like a riot of delegates in Nevada, like somebody who was behind Sanders...
Wade: Yeah. This is on the Democratic side, and I’m not totally apprised...
Steve: Right. Yeah. Because you’re a staunched Republican of course.
Wade: Panties in a bunch?
Steve: Evidently, something. Yeah, but speaking of panties in a bunch, Barbara Boxer was there, one of the Senators and evidently she felt like scared because they were throwing chairs and they were going kind of crazy, so I didn’t know...
Wade: Over – I think it was like 6 or 8 delegates.
Steve: But at this point, isn’t that like – that’s like crucially important, like crucially important, right?
Wade: Yeah. On a serious note, in order for Sanders to actually have a path, he has to win like 75% of the rest of the contests. So, yeah, if Nevada only has 8 to give, well and you’re trying to get 75% of that, one or two...
Steve: He’s got to get 6 of the 8.
Wade: Yeah. So, one or two can make a difference.
Steve: Interesting. So, here’s what I know. All I know is that in the last like three or four months people started talking a lot about Sanders, right? And they started getting a lot of momentum. All I know is that if it started out that way he’d be crushing right now. But she got such a big head start that I don’t know if he can catch up. But I can tell you this. The only one that I think has a remote chance of beating Trump is going to be Sanders. So, my hope is they figure out how to get that thing together. But, I know you’ve already... You’re from Chicago. You’ve already voted 12 times for Trump. I know, Wade.
Wade: Just, again, throw in...
Steve: You’re going to run out of time here, so make it fast.
Rich: You don’t think Hillary’s going to beat...?
Steve: Clinton won’t beat Trump. Absolutely not.
Wade: Simply. They presumed Trump was bringing in more voters, but all he did was bring Republicans that don’t normally vote in the Primary in. So, he didn’t expand the footprint. They finally have done the research...
Steve: Alright. There we go. Alright, more on The Rant next time on Reinvention Radio.
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